Knowing your true self....
It has been a few years since I have posted a blog. So I figured I would come back and talk about some real issues that I am certain we all deal with. Knowing who we really are!! and no matter what race or religion we are and practice this is common. I have found in my life I struggled trying to get to know who I was and it started at a very young age. I tried to emulate who I thought people wanted me to be. I followed everything other girls around me did growing up, because they were liked, popular and seemed to have it all so this made me work overtime to be more likable, and have the look of success. Being picked on and singled out as a child all the way through high school caused me to grab on to characteristics that were not mine. I tried to be just like anyone I saw that had more than me or was doing better than me (in my mind). I tried chasing after meaningless relationships/friendships I could be considered someone in the eyes of man.
This has been an issue I have struggled with on into adulthood. I thought getting married and having children would give me a sense of fulfillment, but I noticed it made me graduate to a new level of being fake. I wanted to be the wife and mother that held a job down, cooked, cleaned cared for her kids and never got tired. Yes I am a Christian, but I would never give that issue over to God to heal and work out of me. Until I got completely tired of being bound by the enemy, people, labels and even myself. I started to really get in my word and it was like I was reading about me. I found that my Identity is in Christ and not man.
*Ephesians 1:4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
*Jeremiah 1:5 I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."
These scriptures helped me see that I was important to God for Him to love me and chose me before he even formed the earth. He knew me before I was even born or thought about. I used to wonder if it was true when people would say this scripture to me, I never believed it until I got in the word myself. My identity didn't start when I found my first friend, it didn't start the first time I` fell in love, or gave myself to a guy. And I say gave because I would put all of me on the table just to feel wanted and needed by someone and never get anything but grief back. Many tears were shed because I didn't know who I really was and the gift God put inside me.
I tried to have best friends, it never worked because I was told I was weird, unusual or different, I stuck out like a sore thumb, I let peer pressure get me, I did everything and tried everything I could just to see where I fit and belonged, IT DIDN'T WORK. I fell hard into depression contemplated suicide many times all because I didn't know who I was. I didn't realize the words of death I spoke over myself had power behind them, and I believed the lies about myself because it became a part of me.. Until I read this:
*Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit".
I was amazed everything I was going through or felt was found in the word of God, by Him knowing me before creation He already knew what I would face and go through. My outlook on myself started to change, I started see myself as a victor not a victim, I started the enemy I was a child of God and he could not feed me lies anymore. I started to forgive myself from past mistakes because I was forgiven by God. And I had purpose in the earth.
I no longer craved others opinions of who they thought I was, should be or do with my life. I was no longer crippled with the fear of being alone because I was different. I have begun to love who I am as an individual. I had to believe I was good enough, I had to know that it was OK to get tired I couldn't do everything myself or by myself. I had to know it was okay to be just me once I figured out who I was, and I didn't have to work overtime to fit in with the ways of the world.
*Romans 12:2 "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect".
Even after knowing all of this the enemy will still try to get us off course, you still feel the pressure to fit into the ways and mindset of the world. But knowing that we are accepted by the Father above and that's all that matters then we don't have to be like Susie or have the latest things like Amy. Everything comes in due time. But you just being you is the most liberating feeling. You are beautiful, You are enough, And you are loved by God no matter what you do or have. Its OK to think for yourself, its OK to have your own dreams and aspirations. Let your true self shine bright from within, let go of the masks and fronts, if people don't accept you and understand you for just being you then its not meant for them to be a part of your journey!! You don't have to succumb to people to feel validated. Love who you are and were made to be.
Do you know your true self..